The enigma of freedom

Freedom is an enigma. I’ve been speaking to others of my desire, calling even, to set others free. I recognise from the vision that I cannot do that unless I am free myself. I believe I can be and am already involved in setting others free. Since I have that focus in my own life it will inevitably spill out. But I’m not free in worship. At least, not in the environment of my Lahti fellowship. Others laugh, shout, wave banners, dance – actually, make fools of themselves in the Lord – but I do no more than raise my hands, clap, sing in tongues… Is it the environment that is holding me back? Is it that I don’t feel at home there? It’s true that I don’t really feel at home there. If I never went back again, there are no relationships that I would miss, and so there is no bond between me and them. In contrast perhaps, when it comes to worship with my work colleagues I do feel freer, within the boundaries of what is expected there. In Lahti I am one of the most conservative worshippers; when worshipping at work I am one of the most open. Because I feel at home in that environment. Because there is love (given and received). And I believe because I am able to use my gifts. In Lahti I am just pew fodder. Everywhere else I am able to help lead in some way.

But it’s as though I’ve woken up. But I have this earnest (passionate) desire to go out and make a difference. To cut the talking (we’ve done far too much of that as it is) and do something. Hence the strong focus and push on mentoring, growth plans, empowering, motivating – to get the desire and ability to make a difference out to the whole Group.

The battle with sin of course remains. I wonder whether following Dallas Willard’s curriculum for Christlikeness will make a difference? (http://www.dwillard.org/books/DivConsp.asp) It should, I guess, since what is being addressed is a transformation of the heart. And a change of heart is what is needed. Rules and regulations won’t make any difference. There’s always a way around them. It’s the heart that needs to be addressed, so that there will be no desire to search for a way around the rules and regulations, and so there will be no need for the rules and regulations themselves.

Michael

PS: Now I've worked out how to do hyperlinks (quite easy really)... Here's where you can get "Awake me": http://direct.crossrhythms.co.uk/cd.php?cd=7198. Go for it!